Note to self: Do not take Ativan and try to make sweet tea.

I have seriously screwed up 3 times. I keep putting these huge pots of water on to boil, only to forget about them til forever later when I go in and find the water completely boiled out of the pot. Duh.

I take it on occasion for my vertigo and I forget how slow it makes my brain. At least I'm totally mellowed out. weee-hehe!!

Last night put me in a better mood, thanks to:
- Couch fort
- Snuggles
- Giant vat of spaghetti
- Lars and the Real Girl (terrible!!)
- Breach (Very good!).

Nat's on her way over! Yay girl's night.

PS: Nick was on CNN yesterday. Click here for the Rainn Wilson interview in the news room. Nick walks by in a light blue stripped polo around 6:38. His desk is right next to where they did the interview ;). My man's famous! LOL.

Much better mood today, although my brain feels tired.

We went to bed super early and I fell asleep immediately. I woke up crazy sick after a couple hours so Nick grabbed my pills and I knocked myself out with phenergan. God bless that stuff...

When I woke up at 5pm I had a message from the disability insurance company - they FINALLY submitted all my medical records for review. I feel a lot of relief in knowing that. I was really struggling yesterday because of the fact that no one would even call me back to tell me what was going on! I felt like it was never going to work out, so I really needed that message today. I am hoping for a swift decision... and the right decision. Dealing with them has really worn me down. So say a prayer please.

I was thinking yesterday about that whole adage about how God will never test you further than you can handle. I take comfort in it often these days, telling myself to breathe through the hardest parts because if I just make it to the other side the reward will be sweet. I see so many core changes in myself from this time of tribulation. My entire mentality on everything has changed, and honestly I am quite pleased with the difficult but necessary lessons I am learning. I feel blessed at times to have learned certain things at an early age - or to have learned them at all. I feel like, as difficult as this has been, I will actually go through life with a smoother, calmer, and more steady base because of all I've felt and all the demons I've conquered in this time. I have a new focus too. I've learned about my deepest and most pure desires for this life and I'm finally allowing myself to focus on them and say "fuck it" to what I think people expect from me. It's crazy how a time that has felt like such a restriction on my life has actually given me the gift of freedom for my future. Don't get me wrong, I much prefer to have not gone through this at all, but at least I can take comfort in the clarity it's given me.

All of this brings me back to my desire to do something more in this world than clock in, follow a production schedule, and take conference calls until it's time to clock out again. I want to use my spirit and my soul to guide me with advice from my brain, not the other way around anymore.

Whew. I didn't mean to get all deep and stuff. I think I'm done babbling on for now. :)

I'm having a really bad day. Health wise, mentally, emotionally... I really need a break.

Hehe. Nick just called me to help him check and make sure some things on the website were running right. It made me feel important :)
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Dinner last night was fun but it sucked the life out of me! Afterwards I sent Nick off with Serge to see the new Dario Argento horror movie while I dozed. I woke up for a couple hours when he came home, then went back to bed til 6pm.

I woke up to go to a birthday cookout but I decided not to cause
(A) I am just too tired and hurting too much
(B) Feeling bad has made me VERY grumpy
(C) I am kinda over the people throwing it right now. I guess it's not nice to say that, and maybe that is my grumpy coming out, but they've been pissing me off lately. Everyone else too... apparently several people showed up for the original cookout on Saturday only to find they weren't even home cause they'd decided to cancel it and didn't bother to tell anyone. Whatev. Some people are just lame.

Ugh, I hurt all over. I went to get in bed last night and had to just sit very still on the side of the bed for like 5 minutes, trying to will the pain to go away so that I could move my body and get under the covers. Every little movement made everything hurt. What the fuck.

I'm just feeling really frustrated and grumpy today. Maybe I just need some food or something.

Oh man, I love Natalie Dee! Crohn's got a shout out this week! Whooeee!

 

Man, we were so lazy yesterday. I slept 20 hours! It was raining and gray, and the atmosphere it created combined with Nick's snuggles made our bed the most heavenly spot on the planet.

We finally woke up and got moving but stayed in our PJs all night. We did chores, cooked dinner, and went to Sonic at 3am for an adventure and a slushie.  The Lemon-Berry is the best one so far!

Tonight we're having dinner with Nick's mom and a couple of her friends. It's in the neighborhood which is nice, but also means she'll want to jet over here after probably. It's a good thing I cleaned up the house yesterday! One real blessing about living together is it gives you time to get used to being around a mother in law before you are legally attached to her. LOL. I kid. Sorta.

I am planning a girl's party for the end of the month and the guest list has gotten out of control. I just know too may cool girls. The next time I feel lonely I'm going to get this list out and laugh at myself.

OH MY GOD. I am watching an episode of Intervention and this guy eats 8,000 calories a day!!! HOW DO YOU DO THAT!?!?!

I thought I was crazy the other day, I felt like I'd been eating all day. Then I realized I was just eating 3 meals like a normal person. LOL. Crohn's will fuck up your brain when it comes to diet.

Ok, I'm rambling. I'm gonna go give the house another once over and get perdy. Happy Monday, my sweet friends!

I finished the nursery wall quilt! It came out really fun.



I wasn't feeling well enough to make the hour drive to the baby shower but I'll go visit Mandy soon. I cancelled on 2 birthday parties for tonight too. I'm just too worn out & have a bad belly.

Instead I took a 3 hour nap, picked Natalie up at the airport, had dinner at her place, and headed home.

On my drive home a grill flew out of a truck just in front of me to my left and came right for me. I some how swerved just in time to avoid it. missed it by a hair - I was so close I braced for impact. I counted my blessings as my heart raced after!

I am dying to go to bed! I'm trying to send Nick out with friends so that I don't feel guilty about sleeping a Saturday night away ;)

I cannot believe I forgot to document this.

Last night Nick and I climbed into bed, snuggled up, and the most amazing thing happened.